Captive

Programmed to destroy, I am a disciplined hostage
In free air, a captive blinded by
The darkness of the unconscious. An error
In judgement has occurred. Not in perception, but
No external stimuli could have evoked the same response.
Am I in control or under control? My very sense of autonomy
Is under attack, the illusion of a comprehensible self
Disappearing like a snowflake in April. Yet Reality alone
Cannot cure this disease of humanity. A green tablet
Confirms the diagnosis of an alternative hypothesis.

Trying to break the code of passivity, it is hard
To imagine that nothing has ever happened.
What seems real becomes real, and those thoughts
Integrate with a strange voice, like another
Conspiracy theory. A brain without a mind
Is eternal bliss. I have yet to achieve this state.
When self-awareness creates an intrusive atmosphere
Of nihilism, I’d rather devote myself
To the other side of all existence. Reality itself
Is like a red eye with many pupils. But what it sees

Remains a mystery.

~ by misspeaceful on 21 February, 2009.